Grandaddy.

This is my grandaddy. Charles William Ruff. I have thought of him so much recently, but especially today. Nine years ago today he suffered a major stroke that left him unable to speak and paralyzed half of his body.

March 25, 2001 was a Sunday. I remember that weekend so clearly. On Saturday I had taken my nephew for a day out together. He was two at the time.

The picture above is Granddaddy holding Cole Foster on the day he was born... The pride and joy on his face is so apparent... can't you see it? (Total sidebar: please note Granddaddy's tool tie... he was in the hardware business for a majority of his life... many people from little Elberton, GA frequented Charles Ruff Hardware.)

Cole and I ended up in Elberton that day... we went to a softball tournament our cousin Kayla was playing in. Guess who locked her keys in the car. Guess whose mom made the 45 minute drive from Athens to rescue her daughter and grandson? Even now as I look back on the day I see so clearly how God is in the little things.

I spent that day with my Granddaddy... and mom stayed on for dinner as I headed back to Athens to meet some friends... but that day, thanks to keys being locked in a car... mom and I both got to spend the day TALKING and spending time with Granddaddy... little did we know it would be the last day that any of us were able to have Granddaddy speak to us on this side of heaven.

Granddaddy left us for heaven on June 1, 2001. We were all in the hospital room with him. It remains one of the most precious moments of my life... and precious will be the day I meet Jesus and have a sweet reunion with my Granddaddy.

Good. Bad. Faithful.

I've believed in Jesus since... well, I can't remember a time that I didn't believe in Jesus. We've come a long way together. I asked Jesus to come into my heart at the age of 8... sitting on the kitchen counter with my mom and dad... but even before that day, Jesus was central to my life, my family.

I've always believed in the power of prayer... for quite some time I've been rather passionate about it. However, the last few months I've become unequivically convinced that He hears us when we pray. God has faithfully answered some rather bold prayers. I am also convinced that the prayers of my righteous brothers and sisters truly are powerful and effective. If I did not have faithful friends praying for me, I don't know that I could have made it through the last several months... I might have made it... but I know me and left to my own fleshy devices I'd still be huddled in a corner somewhere in the fetal position.

September... my Nanny had a stroke. She's my only living grandparent. We celebrated her 84th birthday on September 28th in the hospital.

October... Nanny was moved to rehab after having a pacemaker put in. My 8 year old niece, Anna Cate, had brain/skull surgery. She came through like a champ.

November... a family member shared their marriage was ending.

December... same family member began reconciling with their spouse... and dad was hospitalized after Christmas with chest pains. The verdict - he would have to have triple bypass.

January... after coming off of all blood thinning medicines, dad had triple bypass on January 5th. He made it through surgery but did not wake up for three days. While dad was in surgery I found out a dear friend who had desperately been desiring a baby was pregnant!! Oh how we had been praying for this baby!!

When dad finally woke up, he couldn't walk. We were told he probably had a stroke, but an MRI wouldn't be possible to confirm because the risk to sedate him for the scan was too great. Dad went to rehab/nursing home.

One of my girls in my small group came to know Jesus at our weekend retreat!!

February... dad remained in rehab.

March... Doctors were finally able to do an MRI on dad and found out he DID NOT have a stroke. He has nerve damage/drop foot.

Dad came home on Friday, March 19th.

I simply do not know what is coming next. But I do know whom I have believed and I am fully convinced that He is able. He is constant. He is faithful. We've come such a long way together. In the good... and through the bad... My soul magnifies the Lord. He has done great things for us!

The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:2

The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe. Proverbs 18:10

Living...

I am emerging from a 10 year all out battle with depression. Depression and anxiety have been present in varying degrees, varying intensities over various seasons of the past 10 years. I haven't shared much of that in the few moments of life I have blogged about... of course I haven't blogged much of anything over the past few months... but all that to say that blogging was something I felt the Lord call me to as He was healing me... and HE HAS HEALED ME! This summer marked a full calendar year without ANY depression. PRAISE HIM!

I am learning (again) the joy of LIVING this life. The truth of Psalm 16:11 is so near to my heart, my life... You will make known to me the path of LIFE; in Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.

Almost daily I have these moments where I find myself living... that may not make sense to anyone but me... but it is the most glorious thing! It is as if the Lord quickens my spirit to draw all of my attention, every bit of who I am to the simple truth that He has me on the path of life. These moments occur randomly in the mundane moments of cleaning house, to driving down the interstate, to the spectacular moments standing atop a volcano in Nicaragua.

Home.

Recently I was asked if I was EVER going to update the blog... apparently, I fell off the wagon... the blogging wagon, that is. I believe it has been over a month since my last post. I honestly cannot tell you why that is... there have been PLENTY of blog-worthy moments, lessons, etc. 

Life has been moving at warp speed - or at least it seems that way. I have been doing my best to hold on with all that I have... what I am learning from this place is how firmly all that I have is being held. Firmly. In the grasp of Father God. 

Friday night I was driving to meet two of my favorite people for a movie... as I drove my mind was all over the place. Out of nowhere a song from Little Big Town popped into my mind... had it been any other song - it would have been random - but this particular song and I have history. Weird? Maybe. 

A few years back I was wrestling with a big time hurt - I had complained and wallowed in my hurt with anyone who would listen. The hurt just would not subside. Even I got tired of hearing me talk about it! Have you ever been there? I was driving to Atlanta with my hurt and this new song from Little Big Town came on the radio. 

With the lyrics came an invitation from the heart of Father God: Bring it on Home to Me. It was one of those moments where the heavens parted and God spoke directly to my heart, to my hurt through the lyrics of this Country song. By the song's end, He had built the bridge that enabled me to get over it. 

So fast forward to Friday night... four years later... as I am driving to meet friends this specific line keeps going over and over in my mind:

I know what you need, so bring it on home to me. 

I whipped out the handy iPod, found the tune, pressed play and listened to His heart for me... His invitation...  and I brought it all home - and found rest... just as He promises ~ "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." Matthew 11: 28-30 (MSG)

Tired? Check. Worn out? Check. Living freely and lightly? I'm in. Recover my life? Please. How I long to learn the unforced rhythms of grace. 

So I want to share this song with you... not so much from Little Big Town, although they sing it wonderfully, but rather, from Father God - whatever your carrying, wherever you are, He wants to make it alright. He loves you more than life.  He who created you knows exactly what you need. So hear Him singing this over you now. 

MOJO on the Links

On Sunday, Kevin took me golfing. We had an absolute blast together! It was phenomenal for many reasons... 

* Our round of golf was complimentary... free is always fabulous!

* I had a personal coach - he's the pro in our family!  

* He's easy on the eyes too! The other scenery (i.e. the course) was beautiful.

* The weather ~ gorgeous. sunny. 59 degrees.

* My golf game had moments of brilliance.

*First time in my illustrious golf game - I teed off and successfully crossed a body of water. 

* I impressed my coach when I chipped onto the green and was this close to the hole.

* I didn't lose my MOJO. 

 Small disclaimer: I did temporarily misplace my MOJO on #7... but it was recovered on #8.

Check the logo...who knew that Nike produced a golf ball with the name MOJO?

Thank you Nike... while my golf skills do not afford me the ability to review this product based on performance, it TOTALLY provided plenty of entertainment~ to the point that I will play with MOJO in the future. 

*I played a full round of golf... that was a first as well. 

There might just be an LPGA tour in my future. 

Heart Day '09

Last year, Valentine's Day came and went... and I don't remember much. I was groggy from the pain medicine. Days before Heart Day '08 I was scheduled for surgery to remove a kidney stone that was lodged ~ the stone reeked havoc on my kidney as well... it was swollen and PAINFUL... so the stone was removed and a stint was put in its place to prevent any further damage.... 

Heart Day '09 ~ on the list of best days ever! What made the day so special was the incredible THOUGHT that Kev put into everything. He planned a night totally outside of the box to places I had only briefly mentioned in conversation... places we had never been together. He brought me flowers and a singing card. The night included dinner at Park Tavern, which offers a phenomenal view of the Atlanta skyline, chocolate covered strawberries (my fave), and a stroll in the Virginia Highlands- with gelato!  

Kev had wanted to include painting pottery on our date- but had not found a place to do so. He mentioned this over lunch ~ and I was just impressed that he had thought of it. We were about to head back to the car when Kev walked ahead of me a couple of storefronts and began laughing, "Babe, you have got to come see this." 

There it was... 

It was way more than a place to paint dishes. ... 

It was a tangible moment with the heart of God... a reminder that He discerns our going out and is familiar with all of our ways. He knows exactly where we are ~ and where to find a pottery playhouse in greater Atlanta. He is so intimately acquainted with all that we do. 

How great is the THOUGHT that He puts in to all that we are.

I HEART HIM! 

My Mr. Darcy...

With only a year and a half under our belts, Kev and I are still rather new to this whole marriage gig... so, it was refreshing to read what Beth had to say about marriage on the "bewitching" day of Valentine's... wait for it... "You have bewitched me body and soul... and I love, I love, I love you"... ahhh... Mr. Darcy... that interchange from Pride and Prejudice might just be my all-time favorite. I can remember watching that movie as a single gal (more than once) ~ teary-eyed with hopes and dreams of a someday with my own Mr. Darcy.... 

Each hope, every dream... fulfilled, surpassed. There are the tangibles ~ Kev has the most gorgeous blue eyes... prayed for those...specifically. He is financially savvy. He is a man of prayer and encouragement. Then, there are those things beyond what I could hope for or imagine. Kev is steadfast. He is faithful. About 3 months into our relationship the Lord told Kev that I was his wife. He believed and stood strong in faith over the next two and a half years as my waging battle with depression and anxiety worsened... He endured and loved me through FOUR break-ups. It was not a pretty process... it was not a neat relationship... but tonight... we praised God for our story... because it is the evidence of things hoped for... our story is a cord of three strands that is not quickly broken (Eccl 4:12). Even in my complete brokenness, the strand of God held us together. Even in the deepest, darkest place the God strand strengthened Kevin - and the two came after me... and with the most steadfast, patient, unwavering, loving determination - they lifted me out of the muck and mire. 

Tonight in the most precious time of prayer... I realized, still only in part, how far the Lord has surpassed my hopes and dreams. Thank you Lord, for being the God of Ephesians 3:20... Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]. (Amplified)

***Kev, you have bewitched me body and soul... and I love, I love, I love you. Thank you for being joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer. (Romans 12:12)